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Plainly Speaking
with Karl J. Forehand
Living
Submissively
(1 Peter 3:1-4)
by
Karl J. Forehand
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own
husbands so that even if any of them are
disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of
their wives, as they observe your
chaste and respectful behavior. And
let not your adornment be merely external--
braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let
it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a
gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. (I Peter 3:1-4)
Many read this passage and exclaim, “I
don’t like that” or “I’m not sure I like that.” I even heard one pastor apologize for preaching about it when
asked to do it at a wedding. We
cannot just avoid passages of Scripture because they appear to be troubling
or if they cause us to question assumption we have mode. We also have to look at the whole of
Scripture to help us understand.
The military definition of the
word submission is “to arrange in a military fashion under the command of a
leader.” In a non-military sense the
term meant “the voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming
responsibility, and carrying a burden.”
Immediately, we see words in the definition that don’t set well with
us.
Giving in is seen
as a weakness in our society.
Cooperation may
be the toughest assignment to orchestrate in any
organization
Sacrifice is
something that is essential to all relationships, but isn’t
something we like to
admit.
Responsibility is
something else that our society wants to avoid.
Burdens are
especially something we would like avoid if at all possible.
To understand submission, we
have to understand headship. What
does it mean when someone is the “head.”
Christ is the head of the church.
Husbands are the head of the family.
But, what does headship mean.
I tell couples getting married that headship means “It’s your
head.” The general is ultimately
responsible for the troops that report to him/her.
Other uses of the word
In Luke 2:51, Jesus “continued
in subjection to His parents.” He was
God in the flesh, but He also submitted to the people that all children must
submit to – his parents.
In Romans 13:1, we are told to
submit to the “governing authorities.”
In short, we are to obey the laws of the land. There are very few exception to this
rule. By the way, one of them is
wearing your seatbelt and obeying the speed limit. I just got a ticket the other day – I’m a little bitter.
In I Corinthians 15:28, we are
told that Jesus submitted to the Father.
Do you know what that means?
Even in the Godhead, there is submission. There is an order to things.
There is a hierarchy of leadership.
We often think submission is unfair.
We think “after all, look at who I am.” The humbling part of statements like that is the realization
that Jesus Christ (God), submits to God the Father. Look at who He is.
Ephesians 5:21 tells husbands
and wives to submit to each other.
Ephesians 5:22 says that wives should submit to husbands. Ephesians 5:24 says the church should
submit to Christ. Titus 2:9 says that
slaves (employees) should submit to their masters (employers). I Peter 5:5 tells the younger men to
submit to the older men.
What is ultimate submission? I believe it is in James 4:7 which says,
“Submit therefore to God.” People are
imperfect and hard to submit to – But what about God? Are you submitted to Him? If you are not totally submitted to God,
then how can you even argue about submission to others? The real problem with submission is
usually not the object, but the attitude.
On mother’s day, we should focus
primarily on wives. In Preparing
for Your Marriage, William McRae gives some helpful insight.
It does not
imply an inferiority of person, but only subordination in rank. As a person you will be no more inferior
to your husband, than the citizen is to his government or Christ is to
God. Yet the citizen is subordinate
in rank to the Governor. Christ in
His humanity was subordinate to God the Father.
It does not
justify suppression by your husband but does imply obedience to your
husband. Submission does not stifle
your leadership, creativity and initiative as a wife. You may well wonder if it implies that you
will make no decisions, offer no argument, participate in not
discussions. Absolutely not!
Hupotusso, the Greek word
for submission, implies respect. To
obey without respect is not submission.
The Church’s reverence for Christ and Christ’s toward the Father are
our models.
The Yield sign
We need to learn the beauty of
the yield sign. Our society is I a
race to demand rights. Remember for
every right you have, someone has to provide it. If you have the right to something, who has the responsibility
to provide it? Demanding rights
forces other to yield. Sometimes, we
assume the whole world should yield to us.
We may not say that, but we imply it with our actions.
True submission (yielding) has
to be voluntary. If you force someone
to yield, then they haven’t really yielded.
When you drive up to a four-way intersection, you don’t stop and make
other yield, they have to do it voluntary.
The problem is that husbands, wives, children and employees are all
demanding “I have a right to…”
Actually, we have a right to very little; but we have a huge
responsibility to yield. All four
drivers can’t demand that the other three yield.
1. Submission is an obligation.
A buck private may be a
better person that his/her general; but they still are required to
submit. Submission is not an option
of the Christian life – it is a must.
Anything with two heads is a freak
Their has to be some hierarchy of leadership and we all must submit to
someone.
- Jesus submitted to the
Father
- The Church should
submit to Jesus (the head)
- Children have to
submit to parents
- Employees must submit
to employers
- Wives must submit to
their husbands
When I bought my first new car,
I had an interesting experience. I
always wanted a Ranger pickup. When I
was filling out the paperwork, I noticed a charge for the rear bumper. I said, “What is this?” The salesman said, “You DO want a bumper
don’t you.” I said, “Yes, but a
bumper is not an option.” He said,
“In the state of Texas, a rear bumper is an option – you don’t have to have
one.”
Many of us want to invent a new
law that doesn’t require submission.
Although submission is a choice, it is not an option in the Christian
life. Either we do it or things don’t
work right.
2. Submission is an opportunity
This passage speaks of a
wife winning the respect of her husband without uttering a word. The same could apply to children and
parent; or employees and bosses.
Some have told me that respect
must be earned. Even though I
partially agree, I don’t find that sentiment in Scripture. If respect can be earned, it is through
faithfulness and integrity. I’ll
promise you a life of frustration is you say, “I’ll only respect them if they
earn it.” To make a long explanation
short, you have to turn the tables.
Try respecting them first – giving them your faithfulness and
integrity. In this way, you will earn
respect without asking for it.
Respect can’t be demanded.
How would a kid get
respect. If children would show
respect by faithfulness and integrity – if they would do what they said they
would do – they would earn the respect of those around them. They also would respect those in authority
more. You see, someone has to yield
first.
On my first job, I was acting
like a jerk. I thought the position
was beneath me, and I kept saying things like “This is stupid, etc.” My boss told me, “Karl, if you don’t like
working here, you can always quit.” I
first thought, “Wow, he doesn’t know what a great employee he would be
losing.” Then it dawned on me that he
really didn’t want an employee that didn’t have any respect. On my next job, I tried respecting my boss
first – you can guess that it went a little better.
3. Submission is an adornment
The Greek women work elaborate hair-dos,
with gold/silver combs in their hair.
Some of them even wore jewels to adorn their fancy coiffeurs. This passage is not a command against hair
spray and makeup, but it is an admonition to recognize that glamour is
artificial and external – it is not what matters most. The outer beauty fades, but the inner
beauty can grow mare and more glorious.
Ladies, would you like a beauty
secret that would make you more and more beautiful every day?
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Develop the hidden person that people don’t see
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Develop there the imperishable qualities
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Understand what is precious to God and ultimately precious to people.
How are we doing?
Do you understand that there is an
obligation of respect? We all have
this obligation. It is not an option.
Do you win respect of others
without uttering a word or do you often find yourself demanding it?
Are you substituting artificial
ornamentation for inner beauty?
Whether we do it voluntarily or
not, we all eventually submit to someone.
Will you do it voluntarily?
Karl J. Forehand, 2002
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Karl J. Forehand, 2002
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