Plainly Speaking
 with Karl J. Forehand

 

 

Purpose – Part 4

(Relational Fellowship)

by Karl J. Forehand

 

*This series developed in part based on Rick Warren’s “Purpose Driven Life”

 

  Our church has an outstanding fellowship committee.  It is what some churches call a hospitality committee.  Whenever we have an event or special speaker, they provide the food.  Often, they plan events, like the Valentines banquet.  This committee performs way above the standard.  I never worry that I will be embarrassed.  They always do a superior job!  But, what our fellowship committee does is not all that is involved in the Biblical definition of fellowship. 

 

  Ephesians 1:5 tells us that we have a preordained purpose to be a part of God’s family.  Salvation gives us rights to the family; but our submission to the family is what brings about fellowship.  In large and small congregations, often we sacrifice intimacy and fellowship for routines and programs.  But, I Timothy 3:14-15 tells us the church is a household, not a business.  It is not a club or a fraternity – it is a family!  We must learn to love and fellowship with our family of God.

 

  Rick Warren gives 4 levels of fellowship.  Where are you in this model?

 

1.  Membership:  Learning to Belong

 

  Before we launch into this area, make sure you don’t confuse membership in God’s family with the practical requirements of your local church.  Those practices are in place to maintain order and hopefully facilitate fellowship – but they are not necessarily the same as membership in the body of Christ.  Membership into the body of Christ comes by faith in Jesus Christ.  It doesn’t have to be approved by any human. 

 

  With that said, we may be a part of the body of Christ; but still not choose to belong.  Often people will say that church attendance and fellowship is not necessary.  They speak of church in terms of “I’ll try to be there” or “if nothing happens, I’ll be there.”   I don’t understand this type of attitude.  It doesn’t make sense.  It is like saying, “I want to be a basketball player, but I don’t need a team.”  It is like a person saying, “I want to be a pilot, but I don’t want a flight crew or air traffic controllers, etc.”    Pastor will often think to themselves, “It would be nice to be a pastor and not have to have a congregation.”  I know it is easier to stay away, but it is not the way God designed us – we need each other.  You can’t be a part of the family and not come to the gatherings.

 

  When we are born into the world, we become a part of the human race.  Automatically, we have certain responsibilities.  When we are re-born into the body of Christ, we become part of the family of God.  That also carries responsibilities.  One of them is to belong.  Romans 12:5 says,

 

so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another”

 

  This makes us interdependent.  Many times the church is handicapped because members are not engaged.  You can be on the church roles and still not belong.  You can even attend regularly and not belong.  Getting along with others is essential to learning to belong.  Many bounce from church to church, giving excuse after excuse why they can’t belong.  The truth is that belonging takes some effort, it will make you uncomfortable, and you have to choose to do it.

 

2.  Friendship: Learning to Share

 

            And all those who had believed were together, and had all things in  

             common;  (Acts 2:44)

 

  Learning to share is the first lesson we teach our children.  It should be one of the first lessons we learn as believers.  Why are most people lonely?  They are lonely because they are stingy.  They are stingy with their time – they are stingy with their emotions – they are stingy with their stuff. 

 

  Two of my friends visited last week.  One was a couple and the other was a family of six.  One of the men helped me on a project in my house.  The other got there later and stayed overnight.  Both of them came to church with us the next day.  My wife gave up many hours over that time talking with the two ladies.  We totally gave up our schedule for that 24 hours.  The one guy gave me about 8 hours of free labor.  By the way, he was starting a new job 500 miles away the next day.  He had drive 80 miles back to Omaha Sunday afternoon and get ready to fly to Dallas on Monday morning.

 

  For three families to experience fellowship, we all had to share.  What does the Bible teach us about sharing?  It teaches us that we should share experiences.  To do that we have to spend time together.  It also says that we should share our possessions.  In the New Testament, they daily went to each others houses.  I’m sure they weren’t as concerned with how pretty or clean it was.  To truly have fellowship, we also have to share problems.  This is the hard part, because it is not always fun or expedient to share a problem. 

 

 3.  Partnership: Learning to Contribute

 

for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ;  until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fulness of Christ.  As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves, and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming;  but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him, who is the head, even Christ,  from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by that which every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.  (Eph. 4:12-16)

 

  God gave various gifts:  prophets, apostles, evangelists, pastor/teachers.

 

Why?  “…for the equipping of the saints.”  These people are not hired guns to do the uncomfortable work.  They are to equip the saints.

 

To do what?  “…for the work of service.”   They are to equip the saints (believers) to DO the work of ministry. 

 

Which does what?   “…to the building up of the body of Chirst.”  When members are equipped AND engaged, it builds up the entire body of Christ.  It is stronger.  If you’re intestines are not functioning, your body is not strong and healthy.  When all the parts are functioning, you are much stronger.

 

For how long?  “…until we all attain (verses 13-15 ‘ maturity’)”   In other words, we have to keep functioning towards maturity – we never totally finish growing.  It is an ongoing thing.

 

What is the main thing?  “the proper working of each individual part (v. 16). 

 

  I saw an interview with a new Formula One driver the other day.  He was describing that his team consisted of approximately 500 people.  He was the focus, but he needed each of those 500 people to  get the job done.  The pilot may be a central figure on the airplane, but unless someone airs up the tires, the plane isn’t going anywhere.   Unless someone puts fuel in the plane, it won’t go very far.  Every member of the team has to be engaged.

 

4.  Kinship:  Learning to act like family

 

  Loving God is “worship.”  Becoming like God’s Son is “discipleship.”  Loving God’s family is “fellowship.”   The number one reason people come to church is if they feel loved.  The problem is that you cannot orchestrate a program of “love.”  We all have to do it.   We have to learn to love each other like we love our families, like we love ourselves, and like we love God (unconditionally). 

 

 

 

Karl J. Forehand, 2002

 

 

 

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